Family Therapy

Family therapy

Guidance • Support • Psychoeducation

Getting help for a loved one suffering from an eating disorder can be a daunting process.

Remember: the development of an eating disorder is a strategy one develops in efforts to cope with stressors in his or her life.

For ED sufferers, the symptoms of the ED (the restricting, binge eating, purging, compulsive exercise) act to relieve challenging feelings, such as stress, sadness or social anxiety.

The ED symptoms can also act to enhance feelings of competence, control and perfection.

Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.

~ Fred Rogers

Your concern is crucial in the process of recovery.

Patients with enduring recoveries regularly share feelings of being loved, supported and believed in. These patients often site support and love from family and friends as major motivators in recovery. While even the best efforts on your part cannot ultimately change another’s behavior, you do have control of responding to this crisis prepared.

When first approaching a loved one you suspect has an eating disorder, try to keep the following suggestions in mind:

Practice active listening

This is a necessary first step. Be an active and empathetic listener. Empathy includes two parts. The first part of empathy involves making an effort to understand someone’s experience as they experience it. The second part involves actively conveying that understanding.

Offer information and resources

Be prepared with names and resources. If your loved one is resistant to beginning treatment for the ED encourage him or her to attend “just one meeting.” Making a small goal with limited commitment is less threatening to someone being confronted with the idea of giving up a trusted coping strategy.

Reframe the purpose of beginning treatment

It can be helpful to frame a purpose of treatment as targeting sadness, anxiety or a struggle with perfectionism—as opposed to the eating disorder. Your loved one may be less defensive when approached with the idea that they seem sad, overworked, or “not themselves.” People with eating disorders are often less protective of these struggles and more invested in getting help for them.

Resist getting into a power struggle

It’s likely that the person you confront with your concern will initially deny the ED. If you encounter denial, attempt to remain firm in what you’ve observed to be a problem, but resist insisting that they immediately agree with you. This is usually unrealistic at first. Attempt to stay calm and use “I” statements when possible (For example, instead of “you’re getting too thin” you might say “when I look at you I see you loosing weight and I’m worried for you.”

You are not alone.

If your loved one is struggling with an eating disorder, I offer therapy and support for the whole family.

Reach Out Today